Eating Vicariously

My daughter, Abby, is nearing a glorious chapter in her new-ish existence.  While today, her diet consists mostly of fruits and vegetables, soft meats, and bland cookies and crackers, she is right around the corner from junk food nirvana.  I’m talking bright-colored cereals, chocolaty cookies and sugary drinks.

Before long, Abby will be ready to start eating for real.  And kids don’t need to watch their calories like adults do.  They have high metabolism and, as I understand it, a little fat in the diet is actually good for their physical development.  This means that our cupboards are going to be stocked with all levels of kid-focused staples.  I can’t wait.  It’s gonna be feast time for the daughter AND her old man.

Oh yes, I will partake in the bounty.

I’m not about to pretend that I’m the world’s healthiest eater, but you’re currently unlikely to find any cartoon characters in the pantry.  Chef Boyardee rarely pays the Smiths a visit.  And words like “soft batch,” double stuff” and “Keebler” are rarely found on our foodstuffs’ packaging.

That will all change as soon as Abby’s ready to dig in.  Here are just a few of the reasons I’m excited:

• Fruity Pebbles
• Velveeta grilled cheese on white bread
• Fish sticks
• Spaghetti-Os
• Oreo cookies
• Whole chocolate milk
• Kool-Aid

It will be a treasure trove of artificial sweeteners and preservatives – things you don’t see in the average “adult” household.  I think I’m gaining weight simply by writing this.

I’ve already had a sample of what lies ahead and it’s not pretty.  When Abby started cutting teeth, we got her one of those two pound cartons of Goldfish crackers.  She liked them just fine, but it was her dad who really put a dent in the inventory.  I’d say for every one cracker she ate, I took down about two handfuls’ worth.

Now, none of this means I’ll be throwing responsibility out the window.  I don’t want myself, or my kid, to blow up like a balloon.  Fast food will be an exception, not a rule.  Portion control will be important, as will a steady stream of fruits and vegetables and physical activity (I’m going to need Abby on the move as much as possible so I can chase after her and get a little exercise of my own!).

Nevertheless, I’m eagerly awaiting our first full-scale “big kid” trip to the grocery store.  In the meantime, if anyone needs me, I’ll be eating a granola bar (a great source of fiber!).